The full body tremors that I get from my PTSD are not one of the worst things I have to deal with, but they are inconvenient. I knew last night when I went to bed that I was over-tired, and sure enough, after about 8 hours of sleep I got out of bed shaking inside and out like a leaf, and my head bobbing slowly, and there didn’t seem to be much I could do about it other than get back in bed and try to relax and sleep some more. I woke up at intervals to listen to old Conference talks and BYU devotionals. Yesterday morning it was about 15 chapters of 3 Nephi. I don’t know how much I retain, but I do seem to retain themes, and I can always listen to them again. For over ten years these are the only kinds of things that have helped bring down my anxiety levels in the middle of the night.
On the blessing/could be worse side, when I have tremors durign the day and need to sleep, the nightmares seems to get better instead of worse. It’s not like when I’m dealing with feeling paralyzed and attached to my bed. Yes, it could be worse.
I’ve had two weeks of the on and off body shaking. Today was a bummer because it was a Sunday and it didn’t end until around 6pm. I was pretty useless
This article in the Ensign/Liahona on Patience seems to have been written just for me recently.
Patience: More Than Waiting
Another thing on the patience continuum: when I go through weeks like this, I need more patience with what seem to be like endless peanut putter sandwiches. My mind is on the lower end of the abilities continuum and I freeze when in the kitchen.